Columbia Law Vegans Are Probably Discriminated Against, And I Assume Delicious

Let’s start with the fundamentals: you need to be ensconced in a round cocoon of financial “benefit” to have self-imposed “dietary limitations.” I’m not always discussing food allergic reactions– through the evolutionary biology that produces people with food allergic reactions who aren’t starved from the gene pool is itself an item of humankind’ success. There are people with real issues, BUT … self-imposed constraints are not “real” issues. [1] Having the ability to opt to NOT EAT something because of your God or your morality is the OG of #FirstWorldProblems.

I strongly think that I might lock 50 vegetarians in an igloo for the winter season, when I returned in the spring, half of them would have consumed the other half. Dietary limitations are a social construct. Under even moderate natural pressure, they ‘d fall away.

That stated if you can accommodate people with dietary constraints, sure. Whatever. When I cook-out, I purchase vegetable hamburgers or whatever, simply in case, a Vegetable American appears. Making people feel welcome is simply a little drizzle of awesomesauce in a world that is too vicious and unkind.

Simply if all of us understand that no one is entitled to their personal dietary randomness at every possible public event. A lodging is a good thing a host need to do. The tyranny of ethical dietary privilege needs to end. Here’s the discussion everyone must be prepared to have:

Gastronomically Superior Individual: “Thank you for this lunch I played no part in searching, event, preparing, or providing. It does not match my personal dietary needs.”.
Humankind Sapiens: “…”.

Gastronomically Superior Individual: “So … I was questioning if perhaps next time you could consist of an ‘I just consume root shavings, blessed by Vishnu, on the very first 8 Tuesdays after the equinox’ choice?”.
Humankind Sapiens: “Oh. I See. Okay, here’s the important things: we do Sloppy Joes on Tuesdays and, honestly, if you choose to starve to death while literally surrounded by food, I’m as most likely to include you to the canned meat spices as I am to care. Thanks for your recommendation.”.

Clear as I can inform, someone at Columbia Law School had this very discussion with people at an occasion. Doing it my way seemingly pissed off the vegan mafia and, in some way, it was raised to the concern of the Environmental Law Society. Ecologists, normally, appreciate vegan problems, because food sustainability is a thing. I have no idea the statistics on the number of acres of forest need to be sliced down to plant the yard that will feed the scrumptious cow I will consume for supper, but I’m informed it’s “a lot.” Ecologists have done a much better job of persuading me that consuming meat is “bad” than holier-than-thou vegetarians, so now I’m comfort-eating my bacon cheeseburger because I feel bad about the Earth.

In any occasion, the Environmental Law Society chose to obtain all up in … Vegangate. I’ve edited and changed the names:

Dear Environmental Law Society affiliates,

In reaction to a few of you connecting about the absence of schedule of vegan options at some Student Services occasions and at Block Party, and about the belittling remarks gotten when requesting them, your ELS presidents arranged a meeting with and talked with [Student Leaders who must be studying] recently.

While [Future Democrat Who Will Lose to A Republican Who Shoots Ducks on Television] assured that the absence of vegan options was an oversight which it would not happen once again, we want to make sure that this pledge is kept. Please let us know at ‘’ if this issue occurs once again, and we will guarantee that this issue is handled.

In reaction to the belittling and demeaning remarks gotten by vegans and vegetarians in our neighborhood, ELS wants to openly reveal our assistance for vegan and vegetarian way of lives, and restate that we are here to assist you with your concerns relating to ecological problems. Individuals must not be treated with derision for their dietary options, and need to not be victimized by Columbia Law School Staff or Student Senate Representatives.

If you want to go over with us the contents of this e-mail, or other problems you are having to associate with this issue, please connect to us at ‘’.

Stay Green,
The Environmental Law Society Board.

” Persons must not be treated with derision for their dietary options, and need to not be victimized by Columbia Law School Staff or Student Senate Representatives.” This is an incredible sentence. It takes a position that I think almost everyone would support, and in some way, puts it in a manner where my visceral response is to wish to strike a vegan with a bat constructed out of ham.

You are not discriminating versus vegans by discovering their dietary needs frustrating, absurd, or quarrelsome. You’re not discriminating versus vegans by offering them a slim jim. Christ ALIVE … in transubstantiated meaty kind … there are real discrimination and bigotry out here in this world. You people are going to be attorneys. We need you on the FRONT LINES stopping the federal government from victimizing people based upon the color of their skin, not the roughage in their intestinal tracts.

Sources report that the person who heard the “belittling remarks” wasn’t even themselves a vegan, simply a worried law student who didn’t wish to see vegans … victimized. I have not had the ability to substantiate that report but I cannot even deal with its ramifications. If you’ve never ever been to Columbia, please know that you basically cannot arrive without physically stepping over or around numerous homeless people! The destitute of New York is on your way to school, and you’re conserving your food outrage for “belittling remarks” about vegetables?

If someone serves you soup made with beef broth rather of fresh Moon fragments or whatever the hell you consume, please, for the love of God, take that serving to a homeless person TWO BLOCKS from your class. While you’re at it, explain to him why he should not consume animal items. I guarantee it’ll be an enlightening discussion about your very own advantage.

I hope that’s what the Columbia student leaders do: turn Vegangate into a massive Food Bank NYC thing. Every meal a student does not wish to consume gets contributed. Vegans can feel they’re starving for a function, homeless people get pepperoni pizza rather of the gross broccoli pizza which is typically the only thing left over.

Thanks a lot, vegans. After blogging about food for a thousand words, I’m not even starving any longer.

[1] Truthfully, do not email, Celiacs. I’m leaving you from this, you extend me the very same courtesy.